One Is the loneliest Number

One is the loneliest number or so the saying goes. I'm not sure that I totally believe that. Maybe it is the case. However, I am of the school of thought that numbers in fact have personalities, and being of that school I am not convinced that one is in fact the loneliest number. The 44th Mersenne Prime, or m44 is 2 to the 32,582,657 power minus 1 and is the largest known prime number. In the decimal system it requires 9,808,358 digits to be written fully, and was just discovered this year. That is a lonely ass number. It is a number without a family and likely not a home. It is a number that is so distant and remote that no one will never have a need for it, except to poke it and prod it for scientific purposes. Let me tell you a little bit about prime numbers in case you forgot since high school. Actually we'll let dictionary.com do the honors. The following is an excerpt from a conversation I recently had with Dictionary.com.

Adam: Hey Dictionary.com what's up?
Dictionary.com: Well, not too much to be honest with you. But I am keeping busy.
Adam: It must have been hard since myspace left you.
Dictionary.com: Yeah, it's hard to hold onto a shooting star. She was the apple of my eye, but she was destined for bigger things than me. I think she's dating eBay now.
Adam: I wasn't going to bring that up, but I'd heard that too.
Dictionary.com: Who told you?
Adam: I think you probably already know. It was yahoo.
Dictionary.com: Yeah I hate that guy. Google's much better.
Adam: True dat.
Dictionary.com: So what can I do for you today?
Adam: Well, I'm writing a post for my blog concerning prime numbers and I was hoping you could help me out with a definition.
Dictionary.com: I'd be happy to for and old friend. A prime number is a positive integer that is not divisible without remainder by any integer except itself and 1, with 1 often excluded: The integers 2, 3, 5, and 7 are prime numbers.
Adam: Thanks man, that will be a great help. By the way, what happened with you and Amazon.com.
Dictionary.com: She was way too tall for me!

I like that guy, but he's crazy. Anywho, why are prime number so lonely? Well, think about it. If you are the number 12 it takes either 6 and 2 to make your or maybe 3 and 4. Two numbers have to come together in a beautiful union to bring you into the world. While 2,3,5, and 7 are prime numbers, they are so common and so well received that they can get along quite smartly. They grace the backs of ballplayers and are commonly recited by children. Although they are prime, they are loved. As prime numbers get larger they are less and less used and no other numbers are required for their construction. While they may be proud of their independence, they are the old maids of the numeric universe, sitting at home and wondering why no one ever calls. As the largest known prime, Marsenne 44 is the leader of this collection. Please try to picture over 9 million digits. As a point of reference the King James Version of the Bible has approximately 629,000 letters.

In conclusion, one, you are not the loneliest number. Get over it! You have been blessed, and you should be truly grateful. Holla'

My Friend Neil

My plan with this blog was to only post pictures of myself, but I decided to make an exception this evening. This is a picture of one of my friends and me. He's the one on the left side of the picture. Can you see him now? Yeah, he's the one in the blue shirt. Because this is the internet, I will change his name to protect him from the legions of crazies that check this blog. Since I have started this little blog or as I call it "Love Project," I haven't been able to get any sleep due to my phone ringing of the hook, and the autograph seekers have been rediculous. So, for the purposes of this post we will call my friend, Neil My Indian Friend Who Lives In New York With My Friend AJ And Is Applying For Business School And Loves Ice Cream. Even as an acronym, NMIFWLINYWMFAAIAFBSALIC, this name is a little long so we'll simply refer to him as Neil the Dancer. The reason for this name is Neil the Dancer's ability to create the illest moves on the planet that incorporate both his suburban PA roots and his flair for the dramatic. Indeed Neil is the creator of the Hurricane which is a move that I have adopted as my own. That was the greatest gift Neil the Dancer has ever given me, and based on Neil the Dancer's gift giving talents will probably remain that way for quite some time. Soon Neil the Dancer will travel to India where hopefully he will spread this movement to the World's Largest English Speaking Country. Now that I have explained his name, I will tell you a little more about the pic.
That pic was taken with the use of my computer while I was in NYC over the summer. It was our idea to use still photos to assemble a stop motion short. It was quite thrilling. The above pic is the final result, because we accidentally erased all of the other pics. Ohh but it was a great little project before it was destroyed. Orsen Welles beware if Neil the Dancer and I ever reconvene to finish our project, because your little Rosebud is going down. Thanks for your time. Holla'

Who Wants a Hug!

Do you need a hug? They say it takes 10 hugs a day to feel invigorated, and I for one believe it. There is something quite nice about hugs and I'm not talking about the one arm, uncomfortable, two pat on the back kind. I'm talking about the real deal.
With that introduction, let's talk about some of the hugs I've received over the years. When I was a baby I got a lot of hugs. I really don't remember too many of them though. I know you've heard people say "that guy is messed up because he was either held too little or too much as a kid." I'm not that guy. I was held the proper amount, my parents kept detailed records and I have checked them out against the historical greats. My Held Minutes Per Day (HMPD) were less than one standard deviation from such greats as Winston Churchill, Socrates, Thomas Jefferson, and Nelson Mandela. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. As I grew the hugs changed. When I was three, my sister was born, so I had to start giving hugs of my own. Up until that point I mostly received hugs, but then I was required to start initiating the hugs. I'd have to say at that young age is where I really began to learn the art and science of the hug. Where do you put your arms when the person is taller than you? What if they're shorter than you or the same height? I've never hugged anyone that was missing their arms or even a part of an arm for that matter. I wonder how that would be. I'm not saying this to be mean, it is really just curiosity. People's insecurities affect their behavior. Would someone without an arm be as likely to hug? I apologize if these questions seem insensitive, but they are honest queries. Today I asked my parents who was a better hugger. My Dad claimed that he was better than Mom. I'm not sure how you would judge this, but we all know people that give lousy hugs. Those people are mostly standoffish huggers. There is nothing quite like a warm embrace from a friend, lover, parent, sibling, teacher, police officer, or clown. Everybody deserves a good hug. I challenge you to find someone you can count on to constantly deliver good quality hugs. It is important and will invigorate you as you go about your day, and who couldn't use a little extra spring in their step. Thanks for reading my hug message. It has been fun to deliver. If you need a hug just drop me a line and let me know where you live and I will find you. For a small fee I can even put you in touch with a group of excellent huggers in your zip code. The foolishness is over...Holla'

My Neighbor the Preacher

I was browsing through the photos I had on my computer and I came across this gem. That's right it's a sheet of paper with five signatures.

I live across the street from a church and in my town people are pretty comfortable around each other. It's not uncommon to ask you next door neighbor for some sugar or ask them to pick up you mail when you go out of town. Sometimes they ask you to make them an electronic signature. The problem on this day was that neither one of us had any clue what was the best way to go about this, but I could tell by talking with him that I was supposed to figure it out. It must have been God's will, because sure enough I came up with an idea. He should sign a piece of paper maybe five times or so and we could scan it in. Here's the rub, the scanner wasn't working. The Preacher, not being satisfied with my mediocre attempt to solve his problem, encouraged me to find another solution. That is when I decided to photograph the signature sheet and download it onto my computer. I was then instructed to email it to him.

I am not sure if this approach worked for him and I can't remember why he needed this in such a hurry, but I can tell you this...don't try to pay me with a check from Ken with a forged signature. I can definately verify and God doesn't look favorably on liars. Holla'

Getting In the Insurance Game

For those of you who do not know me, I am starting a career selling insurance. I'm really excited about getting this going. For one thing, I need to start making money again. The camel hair jacket in the picture below is getting quite tattered and needs to be replaced. Without the proper funds it will be put out to pasture without a successor. The financial aspect is pretty obvious, but there are a few more reasons I am excited to get it going. This is the first time in my young career that I have been pursuing something that I can see myself doing for a while. I really want to get good at this and I know that comes only through effort and time. The insurance world is so large that there are many different avenues to explore and there are many different client needs. This breadth is quite exciting, and since I am an independent broker my opportunities are only limited by my imagination and hard work. Once I get my new blazer I will be unstoppable! Another reason for my excitement is that I actually believe in what I am doing. This is incredible! When I was selling for Quest, I sold medical tests. By providing the Doctor with new and better tools to diagnose his patients I was indirectly helping sick people and hopefully guiding them to better health. Unfortunately a large part of my job was using my mouth and political charm to convince the Doctor and Office Manager that our prices were the best and our insurance treatment was better than the competitor. Another large part of my job was politicking inside my organization and satisfying their harsh reporting demands. Those really killed my spirit and zeal for the job. Add to that I didn't necessarily choose that job, it kind of chose me, I could see this wasn't my path to career fulfillment. Some may argue that career fulfillment is too lofty of a goal or that most people aren't really happy with their jobs anyway. The way I see it, you spend a lot of your life working and you need to receive something from it beside simply a paycheck. Sometimes I relate current experiences back to the most primal needs that I can identify. A job in modern times relates to any sort of hunter or gatherer of days past. It is the channel used to aquire food, shelter, and the necessities for ones family. Those last two sentences were a little off the line of conversation mentioned previously, but I think it's important to remember that what we do now isn't too much different that what has always happened except we now have email and DVRs. Since this is MY blog, I will now return to my next reason that I am excited about my insurance career, and it will be illustrated through a story. Yesterday I had my first sale. It was a pretty easy sale since the buyer was a close family friend who needed the insurance. The reward was not in the actual sale of insurance. Since I am independent, I can carry the best companies that provide the best rates to my clients. I was able to find this client a better rate than they had been offered from any of their other insurance contacts. That was a great feeling, but the best was knowing that they would have the financial protection they needed for their family. That is why I got out of B2B sales and got back to my strength and my passion of helping families. The fact that my knowledge and skills can help better protect families and cousel them to find the best products is something that I feel really great about! If you took the time to read this post, thank you. You probably know me a little better now. I hope all is well in your world and please accept my best wishes for a wonderful day. Smile, be happy, and love those you love the best you can. I'm out. Holla'

A

Swim Faster You Silly Puppet!

This is a picture I drew to illustrate a chapter from the classic book Pinocchio. For anyone who has not read the original Carlo Collodi version, you should. You may be more familiar with the Disney version, but the original version is much better. When I say better, I really mean it makes much less sense and is much more violent. It is a story that just kind of rambles on much like this message with quite a few characters that don't lead anywhere with events that turn out to be meaningless. For all of you who have read the original, what's up with the serpent? It just kind of hangs out in the middle of the road and then for no reason it dies and is never mentioned again. This book was written to frighten children. Why can't more books be written to frighten children.
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Back to the drawing. It is the scene in which Pinocchio is swallowed by the great shark. You Disneyphiles may like to contend that the sea creature is actually a whale. I prefer the original version because whales are much too loveable. Big black sharks with white lips and white fins swimming in white water are much more frightening and yet at the same time strangely endearing. Take a look and holla' atcha boy! I'm out!

"Hello Doctor would you like to buy some Pap smears?" I said as I stood by smiling in my smart looking camel hair blazer.

It's hard to believe that good looking red head was selling laboratory tests in Chattanooga not too long ago. Can you believe it?

At that time I lived in a nice apartment home built in 1917, looked out at Lookout Mountain in the evenings, and drove a Chrysler 300 the company provided me. All might have seemed well to the outside observer, but I had to make a change. The rest is history, and I'd be happy to fill in any interested parties on my recent goings ons. I'd have to say the greatest things I took from my time in Chattanooga were some life changing experiences and a rubber cervix. If you ask nicely I'll show it to you.